Free Monologues for Audition and Study

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Audition Monologue - Mule Stuff

Male Monologue -one to two minutes

Once upon a time there was a very rich old witch… who had a golden touch… well, not really golden because everything she touch turned to … mule shit.  Touch… plop,,, plop… mule shit.  Every time this rich witch with a shitty touch picked up a piece of food, it would ooze between her fingers and dribble onto the floor.  And every night her bed would be instantly plop plopped into a very sloppy and stenchous square of … stuff. 

Well, once upon a very short time, she realized that she either had to eat and sleep or she would die.  So she picked up a piece of pie and tasted it.  Then a very strange thing happened.  Do you know what very strange thing happened? Do you WANT to know what very strange and wonderful thing happened?  Well I’m still interested even if you’re not.  As she sank her teeth into that once pie, now.....stuff, she realized she liked it.  In fact, she like eating the stuff so much that she spend the rest of her happily ever after plop plopping everything around her… so that everybody she knew and supposedly loved, would be just as shitty as she.  Plop.
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